I have been thinking about my life and what I want to make of it. After some journaling sessions, I’ve noticed that whatever goals I’ve wanted to pursue have been met with negativity, or I get met with being told I’m too old. I’ve concluded that people project their fears onto me, and I don’t want to live that way.
I was thinking back to a conversation that happened within my friendship circle. The top goal on my friend’s bucket list is to attend San Diego Comic-Con. I also want to experience this. It also got me reassessing what goals I had written on my own bucket list. Going to Disney Land in Anaheim, California, one day is an item on my bucket list. I am a fan of Disney. It was the first Disney park built. Walt Disney was said to have overseen its construction, and this idea makes me want to visit it more.
I would also love to visit Norway to see the Northern Lights; they are beautiful. They were visible in the UK recently, but I didn’t get to see them. I’ve looked at many images on Pinterest. I would love to stay in a pod to watch them at night before falling asleep. I would love to travel to other places too.
I’ve also been thinking about using what I’ve learned from my life experiences to help others with their mental health issues and provide self-development advice. I’ve had the idea to use Instagram, this blog, and TikTok as the platforms I want to work on sharing these ideas. I’m unsure if I want to use the word influencer; it would be nice to make a living from these ideas, and it wouldn’t be a big deal if I did it for free. I want to help people, and if I can do that, I’ll be happy.
I’m yet to get started on the Instagram and TikTok side of my goals; I am battling insecurities. I don’t like the sound of my voice, and my teeth show clear signs of neglect from my depressive spells, and I hate seeing them. I’ve also had to deal with relatives asking me why I’ve shared mental health-related content in the past’ their reasoning for asking is “people aren’t nice”, which has also been offputting.
All my goals are obtainable; I’ve just let people convince me otherwise for far too long. I want to experience what life has to offer. I want to experience it with Ben and my closest friends. There are things I want to experience by myself. I want to know that I lived my life as much as I could before I passed.
In the meantime, I will bring up my insecurities and do the work needed to heal from what troubles me.
Life Through My Lenses 
I have not been to a Disney park either, but the one in California would be ideal. The other night I thought to myself wouldn’t it be cool if I could also do a podcast about autism on here linked from another site? I am not great on camera but I too am not a massive fan of my voice either!
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