Posted in Mental Health, Mental Health From My Perspective!

My Life With BPD! (Trigger Warning)

I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder earlier this year, but I was aware of it years prior to this.

I’ll be covering triggering subjects.

This week has been extra rough for me. I’ve not felt like myself at all. I’ve been struggling to maintain a consistent mood. On top of that, I’ve been dealing with dissociation spells; they’ve become quite jarring.

Mood regulation is my biggest struggle right now. My mood will fluctuate between feeling numb, to frustration without any warning.

My destructive urges are also back in force. I’ve been clean of self-harm for many years, but I’ve been struggling to shake the thoughts now. Binge eating was also another thing I struggle with, it has caused me to gain weight over the years.

These two behaviours are making me feel worthless. I am seeking help for these symptoms, but they are so tough to ignore. It’s disheartening because I’d felt as if I was improving, but this is a harsh reminder of the nature of BPD.

Life can often feel that it is more effort than it’s worth. Which is a scary state of mind to be in. I haven’t spoken to my friends properly for a while, and I just feel like I’m burdening them with my moods. I tend to go inwards during times like these.

I find comfort in talking about these struggles, though. It makes me feel less isolated. I might need to take some time away from the blog, I’m undecided right now. I can’t run myself into the ground; I need to address my issues.


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Author:

I'm Stacey and I'm 30 years old. I write about life, mental health, video games & everything in between!

One thought on “My Life With BPD! (Trigger Warning)

  1. I hope that this official diagnosis will open the doors to the help you may need on your journey!
    While I have no hands on experience with BPD, I do suffer from terrible mood swings at times myself. In unofficially “diagnosed” with Cyclothymia (4 head docs said I had all the treats for Bipolar but they weren’t severe enough, so they labeled me with chronic depression… Later I found out that mild bipolar has a name and it’s symptoms just line up with what I experience). But becei don’t have the official label, it’s harder to get the specific help that I may need…..
    So I truly hope that by “getting this label” it will help you to receive all the help and support you may need to have a successful journey through life… 😊

    Like

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