I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder earlier this year, but I was aware of it years prior to this.
I’ll be covering triggering subjects.
This week has been extra rough for me. I’ve not felt like myself at all. I’ve been struggling to maintain a consistent mood. On top of that, I’ve been dealing with dissociation spells; they’ve become quite jarring.
Mood regulation is my biggest struggle right now. My mood will fluctuate between feeling numb, to frustration without any warning.
My destructive urges are also back in force. I’ve been clean of self-harm for many years, but I’ve been struggling to shake the thoughts now. Binge eating was also another thing I struggle with, it has caused me to gain weight over the years.
These two behaviours are making me feel worthless. I am seeking help for these symptoms, but they are so tough to ignore. It’s disheartening because I’d felt as if I was improving, but this is a harsh reminder of the nature of BPD.
Life can often feel that it is more effort than it’s worth. Which is a scary state of mind to be in. I haven’t spoken to my friends properly for a while, and I just feel like I’m burdening them with my moods. I tend to go inwards during times like these.
I find comfort in talking about these struggles, though. It makes me feel less isolated. I might need to take some time away from the blog, I’m undecided right now. I can’t run myself into the ground; I need to address my issues.
Thank you for your time!
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